For Battery Or Worse

(A woman and her young son walk in with a small magnetic whiteboard with a detachable marker.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this please, but I don’t have the receipt.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(When I try to process the return, the whiteboard doesn’t show up in our system. I take a closer look and realize that it doesn’t come from our store.)

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t return this for you. It isn’t our product.”

Customer: *angrily* “What! Don’t be ridiculous. I bought it from here! I’m sure!”

(Sensing a potential problem, I call my manager over. He looks at the whiteboard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, this brand belongs to [competitor]. I worked there for seven years; trust me.”

Customer: “No! I only ever shop here!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, but this isn’t our product.”

(The customer refuses to believe us. She forces us to call the store branch she claims she bought it from and pull their records to try and find her purchase. Half an hour later, she’s still arguing with us and her son is looking increasingly embarrassed.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I assure you that this product does not come from our store. Look.”

(He goes to the computer and pulls up our competitor’s website. He clicks on a list of their brand names, which include the one printed on the whiteboard.)

Customer: *angrily* “But I never shop at [competitor]! I get everything here!”

(Suddenly the customer’s son speaks up.)

Customer’s Son: “Wait, mom, didn’t we go there to buy batteries a couple weeks ago?”

(The customer’s anger dissipates and she gets an embarrassed look on her face.)

Customer: “Oh… right…” *looks at us* “Well, how was I supposed to remember that?!”