Floats and Brimstone

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “I need a new root beer float; the ice cream in this one is melting.”

Me: “Well, I can get you a new one, but it’s a hot day so the same thing will eventually happen.”

Customer: “I asked for a root beer float! Not root beer soup!”

Me: “I can’t control the weather, sir, but I’ll see what I can do.”

(I get him a new float, but by the time I get it out to him, it’s starting to melt.)

Customer: “This one’s melting, too!”

Me: “It’s still hot out– but it will taste the same, I promise.”

Customer: “Promise me something else, too.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “Go to h***!”

Me: “It appears we’re both already there, sir. That’s why your ice cream is melting.”