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    Flip It, Crush It, Then Reverse It

    | Boise, ID, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [tech support]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to return this phone. I don’t use it.”

    Me: “Okay. I see you are still under your buyer’s remorse period and–”

    Customer: “Yes, take it back.”

    Me: “So, you have the original packaging and the receipt?”

    Customer: *proudly* “Yes!”

    Me: “Great, and is there any damage to the phone?”

    Customer: “I ran over it with my car.”

    Me: “Well, then. Unfortunately, ma’am, we can’t take it back.”

    Customer: *irate* “But it’s still within the first 30 days!”