Five Feet Of Fury
(My girlfriend and I are at a friends shop looking for new training pads for her in a martial arts store. She is a 5′ tall blond, who weighs 95 lbs. I am 6’1″ and 175 lbs, and the owner is about 6’4″ and 200 lbs. All of us have done different forms of martial arts for over 20 combined years. I am making small talk with the owner by the register, while my girlfriend is looking at more pads.)
Customer: “Hey, where are your training pads?”
Owner: “Just past the speed bags, on the right.”
(About a minute later, we hear a small crash, followed by arguing. We rush over to find the man trying to grab the pads from my girlfriend.)
Customer: “You stupid b****; give me those!”
(He finally manages to pull them out of her hand.)
Girlfriend: “H*** no, I got them first; give them back!”
Customer: “You don’t even need them. I have a fight in two weeks!”
Girlfriend: “Then you should have thought about that sooner!”
(The customer finally notices us; he turns to the owner.)
Customer: “Hey, I need to pay for these pads.”
Owner: “No, she had them first. You need to give them back to her.”
Customer: “No, she is just a dumb b**** who need to learn her place. Get me your manager.”
Owner: “I am the owner here, and I’m going to insist you give the pads back to the young lady and leave.”
Customer: “I need these pads! Who’s going to make me?”
(My girlfriend is fuming, and it is pretty obvious. I cut in.)
Me: “Just give her the pads back, man.”
Customer: “What are you going to do?”
Me: “Nothing, but she will.”
(I point to my girlfriend; the customer laughs.)
Customer: “That puny b**** couldn’t if she wanted to!”
Girlfriend: “Just give them back you a**-hole!
Customer: “You going to make me?”
(My girlfriend kicks the man’s legs out from under him, grabs his arm, and puts it in a hold.)
Customer: “Ow! You stupid b****; let go of me!”
(She holds him down for a few minutes, until he starts to calm down.)
Girlfriend: “Now, are you going to shut up?”
Customer: *meekly* “…yes.”
(She lets the man up, and he scampers out. My girlfriend then turns to the owner, and talks like nothing happened.)
Girlfriend: “Okay, I think I’m all ready.”
(Two weeks later, my gym had an exhibition with another gym. Guess who was my opponent?)
Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?