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  • Fishing For The Truth

    | New Orleans, LA, USA |

    (A tourist couple comes in at lunchtime. The woman orders crawfish bisque, a rich dish served with stuffed crawfish. I bring the food to their table, but she lets out a scream, pointing frantically at her plate.)

    Customer: “What’s that!”

    Me: “It’s crawfish, ma’am. It’s what you ordered.”

    Customer: “That’s not a fish, that’s a bug! Get it away from me, that’s horrible!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you, that’s a crawfish. They’re not actually fish, they’re like little lobsters. Would you like me to show you how to break one open?”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? I know what a fish looks like! I’m calling the Health Department!”

    (She asks the manager for a phone book and uses the restaurant phone. The manager asks me to pick up the extension so I can help explain the situation.)

    Customer: “I am at [restaurant] and they just served me food with giant bugs in it!”

    Health Officer: “What did you order?”

    Me: *on the extension* “This is the waitress. She ordered Crawfish Bisque.”

    Health Officer: “Ma’am, what kind of bugs are in your food? Roaches?”

    Customer: “No, they’re not roaches, they’re huge! And there’s a whole bunch of them!”

    Me: “I tried to show her how to open the shell, but I think she got confused and was expecting crawfish to be regular…you know…fish.”

    Health Officer: “Ma’am, are these giant bugs on top of a plate full of rice and sauce?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Health Officer: “Do they have a dark red shell?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Health Officer: “Ma’am, you’re supposed to eat those!”

    Customer: *drops the phone and runs out of the restaurant*