(A man walks up to our gas station pumps smoking a cigarette. I am working alone, so I talk to him using the microphone.)

Me: “Could you please move away from the pumps with your cigarettes immediately?”

Smoking Man: *shouts back to me* “Petroleum extinguishes cigarettes!”

Me: “You can’t smoke here. There are lots of explosive fumes!”

Smoking Man: “No, I am a fireman! We use petroleum to put out fires!”

Me: “I doubt that. I have now stopped all the pumps so no one else can get any gas until you leave the gas station.”

Smoking Man: “PETROL EXTINGUISHES CIGARETTES!”

(Just then, a customer who has been pumping gas speaks up.)

Customer: “I’ll f***ing extinguish you, you d***!” *chases Smoking Man out of the gas station*

Related:
Fighting Fire With Fire, Part 2
Fighting Fire With Fire