Feeling Like An Atten-dunce

(My professor is a harsh grader and very few of his students ever do well on a quiz, despite him showing us exactly what each one will look like. He also has a habit of starting class up to five minutes early. That he even waited until the proper starting time for class today was unusual.)

Professor: “Oh, just a minute. I’ve left something in my office.”

(The professor leaves and comes back several minutes later with a stack of papers.)

Professor: “Alright. We’re going to have a pop quiz today. It’ll be worth 20 points, so try your best.”

Classmate: “Will this count against us, or is it just extra credit?”

Professor: “Well, let me put it this way: if you get this wrong, you shouldn’t expect to do well in class.”

(20 points is a lot in his class, so we’re all anxious, until we see what the questions are. “Who is buried in Grant’s Tomb” and “How long does it take to cook a 3-minute-egg” are among the hardest he’s asking.)

Professor: “The most important part is that you write your name on it. I’m not too concerned with the rest.”

(It turns out we had an attendance problem. Over 30 people had cut that day. That’s the funniest way I’ve ever seen a teacher handle things.)