http://notalwaysright.com Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes Mon, 12 May 2008 21:13:13 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en (A customer spent about 15 minutes asking every employee where the 9 inch taper candles were located that she bought the last time she visited the store. All the while, she was holding onto a 10 inch taper candle. Our store never carried a 9 inch taper candle--they only ... http://notalwaysright.com/even-owners-have-a-stupid-quota-part-2/675 Me: "Good morning sir, would you like a room for the night?" Husband: "Ummmmm...I dunno, let me go ask my wife." (He leaves for about 10 minutes.) Husband: "She said yes. How much for 1 bed?" Me: "It's 79 plus tax, sir, but the only single bed rooms we have right now are smoking ... http://notalwaysright.com/full-frontal-desk/674 (I was working checkouts the other day when I overheard this happening at the service desk.) Customer: "Hi, I'd like to return these outfits." Coworker: "Alright, may I see your receipt?" (The customer hands over a receipt dated about 7 months ago.) Coworker: "I'm sorry, we can only accept returns within the first ninety ... http://notalwaysright.com/at-least-shes-not-returning-used-diapers/673 (A pimply, overweight 18 year-old boy dumps a satin black flame-job man thong on the counter.) Boy: "Uh, can I return this? My mom got it for me." http://notalwaysright.com/a-mothers-love/537 (Customer calls our department.) Me: "Bath and Bedding Department..." Customer: "Yes, do you guys carry sheets?" Me: "Yes we do." Customer: "Do you carry king sized sheets?" Me: "Yes we do." Customer: "Do you have a lot of sheets?" Me: "Yes, ma'am. We have a wide variety of sheets." Customer: "Good. I need you to put on hold ... http://notalwaysright.com/sheet-happens/672 (Talking to a female customer...) Me: "Do you see the 'Local Area Connection' icon?" Customer: "Yes, I see your 'Local Erection'." http://notalwaysright.com/is-that-an-ethernet-cable-in-your-pocket/671 (After being in the same little hut for 25 years we moved the keyshop to a larger, inline store 120 feet away. After moving EVERYTHING except the counters to the new location I am in the old shop getting ready to lock it up until it is torn down.) (A customer ... http://notalwaysright.com/more-clueless-than-keyless/670 (Via Live Messenger Service.) CLIENT: I want DDR3 memory ME: I don't think you should get DDR3 memory yet because the price doesn't warrant the slight increase in speed yet, and it is bottlenecked by your CPU CLIENT: But it is fast! ME: Yes but your CPU is not fast enough and by the ... http://notalwaysright.com/glad-to-be-of-service/669 (I was going to get some milk out of a refrigerator while my coworker was taking an order at the drive-thru. Here is the conversation that took place.) Coworker: "Okay, please pull up to the window." Customer: "IF YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN I WILL HIT YOU UP SIDE ... http://notalwaysright.com/back-in-my-day-a-feather-duster-was-enough/668 Tech Support: "What software are you using to backup? Customer: "Ms. Dos." (The customer spoke like it was a person, like Mr. Dos or Mrs. Dos.) Tech Support: "What, are you just copying the files with the xcopy or copy command?" Customer: "Oh, no. I use Ms. Backup for that!" http://notalwaysright.com/good-because-ms-bsod-gets-really-cranky/667