(A customer came in, grabbed a 40 ounce bottle of beer, approached my manager and talked to him for a minute. The customer walked out and my manager came to the counter with the beer and some money. He purchased the beer, walked outside and then returned. When no one was in the store, we all turned to the manager and asked what happened.)

Manager: “Well, the customer has the money to buy the beer…but he had an issue.”

Us: “What happened?”

Manager: “He said he was coughing real hard in the cooler…and he sh*t in his pants…”

(That liquor store has never heard such laughter in the entirety of its existence.)