(I approach a table with an elderly couple. Note that it is always the elderly woman that speaks.)

Me: “Two gammon steaks?”

Elderly Woman: “No.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the order was for this table. I’ll just go and check again…”

(They ignore me. The other tables around them are either eating or haven’t ordered yet. I didn’t take their order, so I may be wrong. I check. It is definitely their table. I go back.)

Me: “I’m sorry to bother you again. What did you order?”

Elderly Woman: “I ordered two gammon steaks.”

Me: “I just brought those meals to your table, ma’am, and you said they weren’t yours.”

Elderly Woman: “I just wanted to sit and enjoy my glass of wine before I ate any food. Is that too much to ask?!”

Me: “Of course, I will inform the chef and bring your food out to you later.”

Elderly Woman: “You know what? I don’t even want it. Take it off my bill. I just want this wine. What kind of restaurant serves food to people in under fifteen minutes?!”