(A customer wants a specific electric fireplace that is discontinued and so we cant order it. One of my colleagues says that they will go to nearby store after their shift and get one. The customer comes in the next day to collect it.)

Me: “Okay, because this is discontinued and we don’t stock it here, you won’t be able to return it unless it’s faulty.”

Customer: “Why would I want to return it? I’m not a moron like you are!”

(He storms out but comes back in the next day.)

Customer: “This fireplace won’t work! You put me through all this trouble and you gave me a faulty product! I will report you to your manager for all the stress this has caused!”

Me: “Sir, the box is still sealed. You haven’t even opened it yet.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, my wife didn’t like it. Can I return it?”