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    Fake It ‘Til You Make It

    | Hackney, London, UK |

    Customer: “Hey, do you work here?”

    Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Where is the pasta?”

    Me: “I’ll show you…it’s this way.”

    (He follows me to the correct aisle. As we approach, I see another girl in the aisle.)

    Customer: “S***, that’s my ex! Quick, pretend you’re my new girl!”

    Me: *surprised* “Wha—”

    (The customer grabs me, puts his arm round me, and practically drags me over to the girl.)

    Customer: *to ex* “Yea, I got a new girl. I’m over you.”

    Ex: “Um, okay? Great.” *walks away shaking her head*

    Customer: *to me* “So, since you’re my girl, do I get to use your staff discount now?”