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    Exposed For What It Really Is

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I’m working the opening shift at a chain coffee shop. It’s six am and I’m prepping for the morning rush at the bar.)

    Female Customer: *quietly and embarrassed* “Hi. So, that man sitting outside by the window over there… I think he has his penis outside of his pants.”

    (I look over and it’s a regular customer who pops in throughout the day. I turn back to her.)

    Me: “Him, over there?”

    Female Customer: ” Yes. I don’t know if maybe a male employee can go check and see?”

    (I summon my male shift lead, who is confused at the accusation.)

    Me: “If it’s true, I don’t want to know that much about him. Will you take a peek so I can help this woman feel, you know, not sexually harassed?”

    (He reluctantly goes outside and talks to our regular and quickly heads back inside holding back a smile.)

    Shift Lead: “He’s holding his sunglasses case in his lap.”

    (The case was the exact same color as his skin tone. We told him about it later and all cracked up.)