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    Emergency Services Must Be Pooped

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Uncategorized

    (I get dispatched to a call: ‘1 year old male, possibly crying’. We get on scene and the mother opens the front door with a happy and healthy baby in her arms.)

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. What seems to be the problem today?”

    Mother: “Well, my baby just looked terrible so I freaked out and called you guys.”

    Me: “It’s not a problem. Can you tell me what happened?”

    Mother: “Well it was right after dinner. He looked confused, turned bright red, and started crying uncontrollably.”

    Me: “And when did he stop crying?”

    Mother: “He just stopped right before you guys got here. I changed his diaper, and here we are.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think I know what the problem is. Your baby was just constipated.”

    (At this point, the grandmother walks in the room.)

    Grandmother: “You called 911? He had to poop! I told you he wasn’t ready for solid food! I’m sorry, guys. You can go back to the people who really need your help. I got this.”