(I work in a supermarket. This particular day, an old lady who is a regular customer comes in. She’s just paid for her groceries.)

Customer: “Oh, I can’t get home. You have to help me.”

Me: “Sure, we can call you a taxi. That’s no problem.”

Customer: “NO! Don’t call a taxi! It’s too expensive! I live on welfare!”

Me: “Who else should we call?”

Customer: “I live on welfare. I can’t afford a taxi! It’s too expensive!”

Me: “Okay, is there anyone else we can call?”

Customer: *ignores me* “Oh, how am I supposed to get home now?”

(It’s only fifteen minutes before we close, so I talk to my colleagues about this, and we agree that the quickest and simplest solution is for me to drive her home in my own car. We get to the nursing home where she lives, and I help her bring the groceries to her room.)

Me: “Okay, there we are. Take care now.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you very much for your help! That was very kind.”

(This is the first time I’ve ever heard her say anything nice.)

Me: *closing door*

Customer: “YOU DRIVE LIKE A PIG!”

Related:
Driving Miss Crazy, Part 2
Driving Miss Crazy