Don’t Make Her Dairy, You Won’t Like Her When She’s Dairy

(At the cafe where I work, we make burgers and garden burgers. A customer comes in and asks us many questions about the garden burger, even going so far as to ask for the box so she can check the ingredients and stating multiple times that she is vegan and gluten-free. Our cook makes a big show of using clean new utensils and a pan instead of the grill we cook meat on to make her order.)

Me: “Dude… you put butter in the pan with her garden burger.”

Cook: “So? I always put butter in! It helps keep it from sticking and tastes nice!”

Me: “She just spent ten minutes making sure that the patty was vegan.”

Cook: “So?”

Me: “Butter isn’t vegan! It’s a dairy product, made from milk! She won’t want it!”

Cook: “…”

(After a moment of silence, he shrugs, flips the patty, and nonchalantly replies.)

Cook: “F*** it. She won’t notice.”

(Five minutes later, she got her garden burger, took a bite, and threw a fit, throwing the burger back at our cook before storming off. Guess she could taste it, and he had to wear the greasy stain on his shirt from that burger all night long.)

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