Don’t Let That Butterfly Flutter By

(I’m on the phone with my friend, who is a very confident person and is able to get any guy that comes her way. Today is different.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name], um… I need your help.”

(She sounds very nervous about something, so instantly I’m worried.)

Me: “Okay, hun, what’s wrong?”

Friend: “So… you know that friend of mine, [Female Friend]? Um… she… kind of confessed her feelings to me. As in… she says she’s in love with me.”

Me: “Oh…”

Friend: “What do I do?!”

Me: “Well, do you like her back?”

Friend: “I… I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”

Me: “Well, it’s time to think about it now. Think about making out. If you feel sick, then it’s a no. If you feel nothing, it means you might be curious. If you feel butterflies then you might want to say yes to a date.”

(My friend is silent for a few moments as she thinks about it.)

Friend: “S***. I think I have to ask her out.”

(They’ve been together for nearly five years now.)