Frying-Pansexual
(My friends and I are discussing sexualities and I mention that I’m asexual. One of my friends is curious and starts asking questions about what it’s like.)
Friend #1: “So, I get that you don’t like sex, but… What’s the turn-off?”
Me: “For me, it’s not really a turn-off, there just is no turn-on.”
Friend #1: “So when you see a hot guy, or a hot girl…?”
Me: “I can appreciate that they look good, but otherwise, nothing.”
Friend #1: “But what’s that like?!”
Me: “Well… You don’t like broccoli, right? So imagine someone had a plate of nice, green, perfectly cooked broccoli. You could understand that it looked nice without wanting to eat it, right?”
Friend #1: “Yeah, I guess. So sex is like broccoli to you?”
Friend #2: *who is pansexual, and just entering the room* “I missed the rest of that conversation, so I’m not sure if it’s the best time or the worst time to say that broccoli’s my favorite food. I would probably sleep with broccoli.”
Friend #1: “Definitely the best.”
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