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    Don’t Have A Cow, Ma’am

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink

    (It’s my first day working in this cafe. It’s late in the afternoon and we are getting ready to close. I am in the back kitchen, cleaning, when I overhear this conversation between the waitress and a customer who has just walked in and is looking at the food we have left on display.)

    Waitress: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Don’t you have anything else vegetarian? All I can see are these quiches, and they look disgusting! Like they’ve been here for hours!”

    Waitress: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Normally we do have a few more vegetarian options; pasties and such, but as you can see, it’s almost the end of the day, so we’ve sold out of most things. But I can assure you that the quiches are baked fresh here and these ones are still fine to eat.”

    Customer: “Well, they look terrible. I’ll just have one of those pies.”

    Waitress: “Are you sure, ma’am? These are meat pies; they’re not vegetarian.”

    Customer: “Just give me a d*** pie!”

    (The waitress reluctantly bags up the pie and the customer pays for it and leaves in a huff. Sure enough, less than five minutes later, the customer returns.)

    Customer: “How dare you sell this to me! It’s not vegetarian! It’s got f***ing meat in it! What the f*** is wrong with you?!”

    Me: *to my fellow kitchen employees* “I’m going to love working here, aren’t I?”