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  • Don’t Commit The Crime If You Can’t Tell Time

    | OH, USA | Top

    (A customer places a heavy box on the counter.)

    Customer: “I want a refund on this.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we usually can only do exchanges on opened merchandise.”

    Customer: “I don’t want an exchange. I want a refund!”

    Me: “May I ask why?”

    Customer: “I bought this here last week, and the item is missing.”

    (I try to pick up the box. It weighs many times more than it should.)

    Customer: “It was all full up with bricks and newspaper!”

    Me: “That’s terrible. If you give me your receipt I will start processing your refund.”

    (The customer digs through her purse for her receipt. Meanwhile, I look through the box and verify that it is filled with bricks and crumpled-up newspaper. I examine her receipt which is, in fact, from last week. Then, I take a closer look at several pages of the newspaper.)

    Me: “Ma’am, so you bought this last week, and it was filled with bricks and yesterday’s newspaper?”

    Customer: “Uh…I’ll take an exchange, please.”