Me: “Welcome to [pizza place], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I have a pickup for Smith.”

Me: “That name doesn’t show up in our system… what phone number did you place it under?”

Customer: *gives phone number*

Me: “That’s the number for our competitor.”

Customer: “Yes, I know… but the last time I went there, the service was so bad I told them I would never come back, and I don’t want them to know I’m ordering again. So, I thought maybe you guys could go pick it up for me?”