(I am assisting a young woman over the phone; she has just had her wallet stolen.)

Caller: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Of course.”

Caller: “I had $200 in cash in my wallet when it was stolen. If I tell the police how much was in it, will they give it to me?”

Me: “You mean, if you tell them you had $200 in cash stolen, will they just give you $200?”

Caller: “Yes! Will they give it to me?”

Me: “I don’t think it works that way. If they manage to recover your wallet and the money is still inside they would probably return it to you, but I don’t think that happens very often.”

Caller: “Oh.”

*long pause*

Caller: “What if I told them it was $20? Do you think they would give me that much?”