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    Domestically Dimwitted

    | Columbus, OH, USA |

    (Our store is famous for our women’s scents. I see a male customer looking uncomfortable.)

    Customer: “Uh, miss? Can you help me?”

    Me: “Of course. Who is it that you are shopping for today?”

    Customer: “Well, we had a Secret Santa thing at the office, and I got this guy…um…he’s the kind of person with a domestic partner.”

    Me: “Oh! I gotcha! We’ve got some great pre-made gift sets in the men’s department. There’s a wonderful shaving set and body washes, too.”

    (I lead him to the men’s section. On the way, the customer sees a flowery red and pink gift box with one of our most popular woman’s fragrances inside.)

    Customer: “What about this one? These are on sale, right?”

    Me: “Well yes, but that’s really a more feminine fragrance, a strong floral. Let me show you–”

    Customer: “No, no, no. DO-MES-TIC PART-NER. I really think he’ll like this one better. You know, cause he’s…well, you know…”

    Me: “Sir, we could set up a gift card for you. That way, he can pick out his own body care since you are unsure.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you understand me. He’s…the guy is gay. I’ll take this one.”

    (To the unfortunate gift recipient: I am so terribly sorry! I’ll be thinking of you this Christmas!)