A Very Odd Substitute

(We have a substitute teacher for a day in science class.)

Substitute: “Okay, Mr. [Teacher] says that you are supposed to get into groups of two and complete this worksheet.”

(My two best friends are in this class, and we always work together. Since we can’t work in groups of three, my friend volunteers to fill out her own paper but sit next to us so we are essentially a three person group with two worksheets. My substitute sees this and is not happy with it.)

Substitute: “This is a TWO person assignment, ladies.”

Friend #1: “We know. [My Name] and I are partners, and [Friend #2] is working by herself.”

Substitute: *talking to Friend #2* “So where is your partner?”

Friend #2: “I don’t have one.”

Substitute: “You need to find one.” *addressing the whole class* “Does anyone not have a partner?”

(No one answers.)

Me: “We usually have 28 kids, but someone is absent today, so we only have 27.”

Substitute: “Your teacher said everyone needs a partner.” *addressing the whole class again, but louder this time* “Does anyone NOT have a partner?”

(Still no answer.)

Friend #1: “She can’t have a partner; there are only 27 kids today. Mr. [Teacher] probably created the lesson plans thinking everyone would be here.”

(The substitute still does not understand that 27 cannot be evenly divided by two.)

Substitute: “That’s no excuse.” *addressing the class even louder this time* “DOES ANYONE NOT HAVE A PARTNER?”

(Everyone is getting extremely annoyed by this and someone decides to speak up.)

Student #1: “There are 27 kids in this classroom at the moment. 27 cannot be evenly divided by two because it is an odd number. Therefore, [Friend #2] cannot have a partner. I really hope you don’t substitute for second grade math classes!”