Doesn’t Drink, Period

(I’m second in a queue to pay and the customer in front of me is an older lady wanting a bottle of whiskey. They are kept behind the counter. The owner of the store is a very polite Muslim gentleman in traditional dress. I love this store; it has a little bit of everything and the owner has a great sense of humour. The woman is asking lots of questions about the strength of the whiskey and the prices.)

Customer: “But what about the Glen Moray? What percentage is that?”

Owner: “Its 40.”

Customer: “And the price?”

Owner: “£20.”

Customer: “And the Jameson?”

Owner: “It’s also 40% and £20.”

Customer: “And how much is the Teachers?”

Owner: “£20.”

Customer: “But is it stronger?”

Owner: “No, it’s 40% as well.”

(Each time she asks about a whiskey the owner has to climb up a little ladder to check and he’s not a young gentleman. But he does it smiling all the time.)

Customer: “What’s that there? Canadian Club?”

Owner: “Yes it is also £20 and 40% proof.”

Customer: “I just don’t know. What do they taste like? Which one’s the nicest?”

(I should point out at this point that it became obvious that this lady was not a connoisseur. But was looking for the strongest whiskey to add to the 4 bottles of cheap strong wine she had in her basket.)

Owner: “I’m sorry. I do not drink so I don’t know the taste.”

Customer: *looking disgusted* “How on earth can you sell alcohol when you don’t even drink?”

Me: *taps lady on shoulder* “Well, he sells tampons, too. I hope you don’t expect him to use them!”

(The customer quietly pays and leaves.)