Does Your Sandwich Measure Up

(I am a nineteen-year-old female worker in a sub shop. A twenty-something customer comes in with his girlfriend.)

Customer: “So, you work at [sandwich shop]?”

Me: “Yeah? Why?”

Customer: “So, you know how to handle a foot long eh?”

Me: “Yes, yes I do.”

Customer: “Oh, good, so you can handle me, eh?”

Me: *playing along* “I doubt you’re a footlong but, yeah, I guess.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: *To customer.* “See! Even she knows you have a huge ego.”

(His girlfriend goes on to order a six-inch sub. I make it and hand it to her.)

Customer’s Girlfriend: *To customer.* “Well, this is more like it, eh, babe?”