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    DNR, Aisle 3

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

    (An elderly gentleman approaches my register, unloads a few groceries onto the belt, and waits while I begin ringing his items up.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you doing today?”

    Customer: *very angrily* “FINE!”

    Me: “Did you happen to find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “NO!”

    Me: “I am so sorry, sir. Is there anything that I can help you with today?”

    Customer: *very loudly exclaiming* “I’m alive, aren’t I?!”

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