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    Discussing Green Cards Until You’re Red In The Face

    | MI, USA |

    (I work in a drug store as a photo tech. Part of my job is taking passport photos. I take the photo then run it through a software program to ensure it meets standards for a passport photo. I have no leeway on the size of the photo. I cannot make it smaller or larger.)

    Customer: “I need a Green Card photo.”

    Me: “I can’t do Green Card photos.”

    Customer: “But I need a Green Card photo.”

    (He speaks pretty decent English, and his accompanying wife speaks flawless English.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; I’m not even sure where you would go for that. It needs to be taken in a very specific way and I don’t have the software to do a Green Card photo.”

    Customer: “Just take the photo!”

    Me: “I can take a passport photo for you, but it won’t be the right size.”

    Customer: “Take the photo!”

    Me: “I’ll take a passport photo for you, but it won’t be what you need.”

    (The customer speaks to his wife in their native language.)

    Customer’s Wife: “Shut up, she knows what she’s doing.”

    Me: “I actually don’t, because we don’t do Green Card photos and I assure you, this is not going to be what you need. This photo will be too large to use.”

    Customer’s Wife: “You’ll do fine, dear.”

    (I take the photo, explain to them again it will not be what they need. At their insistence, I process the photo and tell them as it develops it will not be what they need. I hand the finished product over.)

    Customer: “It’s not the right size!”

    Me:” I know. I do not have the capability to do a proper Green Card photo. This is the smallest photo I can make for you.”

    Customer: “It’s too big!” *brandishes credit card at me, mistaking it for Green Card* “This size, this size!”

    (I decide to make one last attempt at explaining this before I call my manager, who I love but I know is having a bad day.)

    Me: “I do not have Green Card specification software. The only identification photos I can take accurately are passport photos. My computer is not capable of making a Green Card photo.”

    Customer: *pauses* “Well, why the h*** didn’t you just tell me that?!”

    Me: “I did, love. Five separate times. Have a great day, folks!”