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    Directions, Compliance Not Included

    | Jackson, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at a hotel. We often get calls asking for directions.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel]. This is [name], how can I help you?”

    Man: “Yeah, I’m in downtown, just leaving [restaurant]. How do I get there? I need to check in.”

    (I start giving him directions. After a while, he should be on a certain road and very close by.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, so you should be right down the road. If you just keep going straight–”

    Man: “You’re not here. There’s nothing here.”

    Me: “Okay, what businesses do you see?”

    Man: “None, it’s all houses.”

    Me: “There shouldn’t be any houses. Did you turn left at the last corner?”

    Man: “No, I didn’t do any of your turns.”

    Me: “Um, you didn’t turn where I said to? What did you do?”

    Man: “You didn’t sound like you knew what you’re talking about, so when you told me to turn one way, I turned another. Now I’m around a bunch of houses!”

    Me: “Can you tell me what road you’re on? Or if there are any businesses at all?”

    Man: “There are no street signs or businesses!”

    Me: “Sir, we have street signs on all roads. If you just go to a corner and tell me–”

    Man: “There are no street signs at all. Now just get me back!”

    Me: “Sir, I have no idea where you are and if you can’t give me an idea, I can’t get you back here.”

    Man: “There are no street signs. How do I get back?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I have no idea.”

    (That was a few hours before my shift ended. I never saw him and still sometimes wonder if he made it in since I didn’t know his name to check.)