Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 7

| UK | Bigotry, Bizarre

(I have just finished swimming at a public pool and am going to get changed. A woman in her early 40s is standing near my locker. I am wearing speedos, but I am 16 and slim so it doesn’t usually bother people.)

Woman: “You shouldn’t be wearing those.”

Me: “Sorry?”

(She approaches me and points at my speedos.)

Woman: “You shouldn’t wear those trunks. They’re what gay people wear!”

Me: *speechless*

Woman: “Are you gay?”

Me: “No, I’m not. I just find them comfortable to swim in.”

Woman: “Well, if you’re not gay, you shouldn’t be wearing them!”

(She then grabs the waistband of my speedos and tries to pull them down. Thankfully they’re tied tight. I slap her hands away.)

Me: “Woah, what the h***?!”

Woman: “You need to get them off or you’ll become gay!”

(The sound of her screaming draws the attention of a lifeguard, who wanders over.)

Lifeguard: “What’s going on here?”

Woman: “Get away from me!”

(The woman runs off, leaving me and the lifeguard to look at one another in confusion. I’ve now started swimming at a different pool!)

Related:
Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 6
Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 5
Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 4
Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 3
Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 2
Dim Witted And Off The Deep End