Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 6

(I’m a lifeguard at a large pool in San Antonio. We don’t allow anyone who can’t swim to jump from the diving boards. This particular day, we have two parties, both 40 people large. A young girl is about to jump off the board and has already been told she cannot be in the pool, due to inappropriate swimwear. Her mother approaches me.)

Mother: “Excuse me, would you mind keeping an eye on my daughter?”

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am, it’s my job to watch her, but if I remember correctly, your daughter’s already been told not to get in the pool. She’s not wearing a swimsuit.”

Mother: “Oh, don’t worry, she’ll only go off once. Just watch her. She can’t swim.”

(I proceed to blow my whistle and tell the girl to step down. When she walks over, the mother is absolutely livid.)

Me: “Your daughter’s been told already, ma’am. She shouldn’t even be in the pool. Besides that, we don’t allow anyone that can’t swim to go off the boards.”

Mother: “Are you f***ing kidding me?! This is f***ing ridiculous! All you have to do is watch my f***ing daughter go off the board and make sure she doesn’t drown. How hard is your god-d*** job?! Where’s your manager?!”

(My manager is called over and I explain the situation.)

Manager: *to the mother* “Let me get this straight: you want my guard to be ready to save your daughter, who can’t swim, instead of just not allowing her off the board, like he’s trained to do?”

Mother: *blank stare*

Manager: “Just leave.”