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    Deranged Decades

    , | Ottawa, ON, Canada |

    (I used to work summers for my dad, who is a psychiatrist.)

    Me: “Good morning, Dr. ***’s Office, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I need to make an appointment with Dr. ***. Can I speak with him?”

    Me: “Sorry, he’s with a patient right now but if you give me your information, I’ll set up an appointment for you. Are you currently a patient of Dr. ***?”

    Caller: “Yes, I was a guinea pig of his when he did lithium experiments on me back in the 1940′s.”

    Me: “Um… I think you got your dates wrong. Dr. *** wasn’t born at that time.”

    Caller: “Oh, then in the 1950′s. It was in the 1950′s and he and the government were running secret experiments on me at that time.”

    Me: “I doubt that, he would have just been a young child at that time.”

    Caller: “Then it was the 1960′s, d*** it! It was at the [hospital] in Alberta in the 1960′s.”

    Me: “Dr. *** has never practiced in Alberta. He wasn’t even living in Canada at that time.”

    Caller: “Are you calling me a LIAR?”

    Me: “Well, considering that Dr. *** is my dad, I think I’ll take my word over yours.”

    Caller: “Well, then we can’t do business. No, we can’t do any business. Goodbye!” *hangs up*

    Me: “Wow…”