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    Demanding To A Fault

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Crazy Requests

    (This happens two days after New Zealand suffered a major earthquake. Most of the central city is a Red Zone with people still trapped in buildings; there is absolutely no access allowed. There are a lot of phone lines out due to breakages, and our technicians are working heaps of extra hours. Everyone is under huge stress.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Company] Faults Service. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “My phone isn’t working. I need a technician.”

    Me: “Right, I’m sure I can help you with that. Firstly, where are you?”

    Caller: “I’m in Christchurch.”

    Me: “Okay. We’ve had considerable disruption of our Christchurch services due to the earthquake. Our technicians are not available for callouts at the moment, unfortunately. I can give you an idea of when the service might be restored, though.”

    Caller: “I live at [address in the middle of the Red Zone]. I need you to get a technician to come out now.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t do that. That address is in the Red Zone, and we aren’t allowed access.”

    Caller: “But I was allowed in. You should be too. I need my phone to work!”

    Me: “Well, you’re a resident, ma’am. You have special dispensation to go into the Red Zone.

    Caller: “But I need my phone to work! I need it for my business! Get a technician out, now!”

    Me: “I’m afraid we can’t do that, ma’am. We can’t access your address, and our technicians are flat-tack busy at the moment trying to restore services.”

    Caller: “This is terrible service! I should have gone with [other company]! They guarantee a technician within an hour!”

    Me: “Ah, so do we, ma’am. But this is extreme circumstances, and—”

    Caller: “Don’t you give me excuses! I want a technician, NOW!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, that’s simply not possible. We will restore service as soon as we can, but right now we can’t send out a technician to help you.”

    Caller: “Well, I’ll be calling back again when I get back from Auckland! Maybe I’ll get better service then!”

    Me: “…Auckland?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’m going to go stay with my relatives. Don’t you know there’s been an earthquake?!”