Deluded About Rude

(I’ve just made a food order that costs less than $10. The customer pays with a $50 bill.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry. This is so rude.”

Me: *laughing politely* “Don’t worry about it, sir. It’s not rude at all. I’ve had people order a sandwich for $6.50 and pay with a $100 bill. That’s rude.”

Customer: “That is rude. That’s VERY rude. But this is rude as well!”

Me: “Well, I don’t think it’s rude, sir.”

(I give him his change and order number.)

Customer: “Um, where do I get my drink?”

(This is a very common question, as our drinks are self-serve.)

Me: “Your cup is in that blue rack next to the Coke machine.”

Customer: *to a random customer as he walks away* “You see? I’m so stupid I couldn’t even figure out where the cups are!”