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    Death Becomes Her

    | Newfoundland, Canada |

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes. Sure is busy here.”

    Me: “I guess that’s because of the season, ma’am. Everyone’s out getting last-minute holiday gifts.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see, yes. I haven’t needed to buy any gifts for a while. Everyone I love is dead.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that!”

    Customer: *stares at me intently* “Someday, everyone you love will be dead, too.”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “Merry Christmas, now!”