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    Her Chances Of A Place Are Spoiled

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am 11 years old, and I volunteer at a local daycare center. It is part of my job to interview people if they want to send their children here.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to [Business Name]. I understand you want to send [Child’s Name] here?”

    Mother: “Yes I’m thinking about doing so, if you can meet my standards.”

    Me: “Okay then—”

    Mother: “Well, don’t be useless, child! Show me around!”

    Me: “Well here is the main playroom where the children—”

    Mother: “What cleaning supplies do you use?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Mother: “Don’t be daft, child! What cleaning supplies do you use here?”

    Me: “We use [Brand Name].”

    Mother: “Oh, I don’t like them. I demand that you use [Other Brand].”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll tell my boss to see if she can ask the janitors to use [Other Brand] next time.”

    Mother: “You had better, child!”

    (At this point, her child begins climbing over the nap time cribs.)

    Me: “Oh, don’t do that [Child’s Name] sweetie; you could fall and get hurt!”

    Mother: “No, it’s okay sweetie; I say you can.”

    Me: “Wha? No, ma’am, she isn’t allowed to do that here.”

    Mother: “You can’t tell someone else’s child what to do!”

    Me: “Okay, but when we’re watching her, we get to set and enforce rules.”

    Mother: “Well if [Child’s Name] comes here, he will be allowed to climb over the couch.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am. If [Child’s Name] comes here, he will be receiving no special treatment, and will not be climbing over the couch.”

    Mother: “Yes, he will.”

    Me: “No, he won’t.”


    (The mother stamps her foot hard on ground. I am speechless.)

    Mother: “Now, stupid child, give me the papers so that [Child’s Name] can be signed up. I request that you stay in another room from my little boy at all times!”

    Me: “But, ma’am! It’s all one room!”

    (My boss, who has been watching our exchange, comes over.)

    Boss: “That’s okay, because you’re fired.”

    Me: “Why? I’m really good with the kids! They like me! They do! And I work for $2.50 for every two hours without complaining! This job means everything to me! Please! I’ll work at $0.50 for every three hours! I need this job so much!”

    Mother: “Serves you right for being a senseless b**** to these children.”

    Boss: “No [My Name], you are not fired. [Mother’s Name], you are.”

    (The mother just stops and stands in awe.)

    Boss: “[My Name] was being very helpful to you, and you kept cutting her off. Then, she enforced a big rule, and you told the child to continue to do so anyway. Then you called her a senseless b****, and laughed at her for begging to stay with these children. Now get out before I call the police.”

    Mother: “Fine! I don’t need this place! It sucks anyway!”

    (The mother grabs her child and leaves. My boss turns to me.)

    Boss: “Your next lunch break is on me; you’ve been promoted to $20 for every two hours, and you can go home now.”

    The Answer Came From The Gut

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Was everything all right? Did everyone enjoy their meals?”

    Customer: “The food was excellent. My digestive system is dutifully converting it into feces even as we speak!”

    Me: “That’s… super.”

    It’s What Grammy Would Have Wanted

    | Bristol County, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work for a call center that handles hotel reservations. We get a lot of people who are worried about canceling and being hit with a penalty.)

    Guest: “Hi, I’m calling to cancel my reservation for the Bahamas. My grandmother passed away, and my family wants us to be close for the funeral.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry; I completely understand and I will definitely see what I can do to help.”

    Guest: “Well… I don’t think I’m within the cancel deadline; can you waive the penalty considering the circumstance? It’s just a really bad time in my life right now, and I want to be close to the family in California. Do I really have to pay the few hundred dollar charge?”

    (I check his reservation, and he’s well within the cancel policy.)

    Me: “Sir, you’re not past the deadline. There was a charge taken, but you technically still have a couple days to cancel. There’s no penalty and the charged amount will be refunded.”

    Guest: “Fantastic!! In that case, can I re-book for Aruba?”

    Me: “…I’m sorry? For the same dates?”

    Guest: “Yeah!”

    (The guest pauses, and realizes he has outed himself.)

    Guest: “…so I’m, you know, closer…”

    My Personal Decision



    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

    | Rotherham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (The pregnancy clinic is running at the same time as normal GP hours. The waiting room contains three pregnant women, including myself, and a tiny very old lady.)

    Old Lady: “Why is SHE going in now? I was here first!”

    Receptionist: “She’s seeing the midwife.”

    Old Lady: “But I was here first!”

    Receptionist: “Yes, but the midwife only deals with pregnant ladies.”


    Receptionist: “No, but you aren’t pregnant are you?”

    Old Lady: “I don’t see how that’s any of your business!”

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

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