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Nothing Like A Spoon To Stir Things Up

This Scam Gets Top Billing

| Buckinghamshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

(A customer walks up to my till with his items and hands me a £50 note. I immediately become suspicious as the transaction total is only £7.50.)

Me: “Okay, that’s £7.50, and here’s your change.”

(I always count up the change I take out of the till.)

Me: “So that’s £20, £20, £1, £1, 50p, totaling £42.50, right?”

(The customer takes the money and starts to walk out. My manager, who is nearby, sees the customer pocket something. While looking towards me, my manager points to his office before he disappears. I am about to serve the next customer when my original customer comes back up to me.)

Customer: “Sorry, you seem to have only given me £22.50.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. But I know I counted out £42.50 exactly.”

(The customer then places the £22.50 back on the counter and empties his front pockets.)

Customer: “See, only £22.50. Can I have my other £20 back please?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t open the till for that without a manager’s authorization. It’s against company—”

Customer: “But this next customer is paying by cash, so you can just take it out then, can’t you?”

Me: “No, that would be negligence on my part as I would be removing too much money from the till during that transaction, and it would not show up on our register logs.”

(The customer then steps aside and lets the next customer come to the till. The first customer then starts insulting me in front of the other customers.)

Customer: “You thief! You b****!”

(I process the next customer’s items and then take his cash and open the till drawer.)

Customer: “See? It’s open now and you won’t give me my £20 that you stole from me!”

(The customer reaches over towards the till drawer.)

Me: “Sir, I told you I need a manager before I can process that!”

(I slam the till drawer closed before the customer can get near it. I then hand the next customer his change, who thanks me and leaves. I turn back to the first customer, whose face seems to be getting redder and redder.)

Customer: “How long are you going to keep me here?!”

(Just then, the phone next to my till rings, with the display showing ‘MANAGER.’)

Me: *to the customer* “Just a second, sir.”

Manager: *to me over the phone* “The customer has hidden the missing £20 in his back pocket.”

(I try not to smile as I put the phone back down and my manager appears from the office. I turn to the customer and speak loudly enough that the other customers in line can hear.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but my manager has told me I cannot open the till to give you your £20 back, because you have it in your right back pocket.”

Customer: *flustered* “T-that’s a lie! How d-dare you, you f*****!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve been told to ask you to leave before we call the police.”

(At this point I have my finger on the panic button, and he can visibly see that. He quickly gathers up his change from the counter and runs out of the store yelling profanities at my manager and me. The next customer, an elderly lady, walks up.)

Elderly Lady: *laughing* “Even I counted it out when you did and got the same amount, and I tell you, that’s a feat at my age!”

This Just Took A Downward Slide

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(A customer walks up to my register and tries sliding his card.)

Me: “Oh, actually, your card won’t work until the very end of the transaction.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “Do you have a [store loyalty card] with us?”

Customer: “Yes. Under my phone number.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “It’s [number].”

(I type in the phone number.)

Me: “Under [Name]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, so then just hit ‘correct’ over there for me.”

(I gesture to the screen. The customer slides his card again.)

Me: “Oh no, first you’ll need to hit ‘correct’ for me.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The customer slides his card again.)

Me: “No, hit correct first.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(The customer slides his card AGAIN.)

Me: “Hit the button.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(The customer slides his card again. I give up and just hit the ‘total’ button.)

Me: “Okay, you can slide your card now.”

Customer: “I thought I slid it already.”

Me: “You did, but I wasn’t ready for you yet.”

Customer: “Oh, slide now?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The customer slides his card. The PIN number prompt comes up. The customer just sits there, staring at nothing in particular.)

Me: “It’s asking you to put in your PIN number.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(The customer types in his PIN, and then stares off into space again.)

Me: “Now it’s asking you to approve the total.”

(The customer hits the ‘no’ button.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “No, why?”

Me: “Well, you hit the ‘no’ button.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought it was asking me if I wanted cash back.”

Me: “No. We don’t offer cash back. It was asking you to approve the total. No worries, I can re-run it and it’ll just ask you to put in your PIN again.”

Customer: “I have to put in my PIN AGAIN?”

Me: “Yes, you do.”

Customer: “Ugh. This is so FRUSTRATING!”

Me: “Okay, so now just hit ‘yes.'”

(The customer finally hits ‘yes,’ and we are able to go on our merry way!)

Outside Food, Inside Job

| Manville, NJ, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a busy night and, like almost every movie theater, we have a policy of no outside food or drinks. I’m ushering/taking tickets when a customer comes up to me with a large drink from another store. On busy nights the managers are always walking about and keeping a sharp eye on the lobby.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; you can’t bring that in. You have to finish it in the lobby or throw it out.”

Customer: “But it’s tea. I’m sick.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t let you in with it.”

Customer: “Says who?”

(I point to the sign in front of me.)

Me: “It’s our policy.”

Customer: “Well, I talked to the manager, and he said it was okay that I can bring it in.”

(My manager, who is right behind me, suddenly turns around.)

Manager: “Hi, I’m the manager. It’s nice to meet you.”

(The customer looks shocked, goes silent, throws the tea out, and ignores me when I let her in.)

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