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    Doing Laps

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (The store I work in has had a serious power outage, so a coworker and I are standing in the main aisles directing guests. As we’re standing there, an elderly customer on a personal scooter almost runs me over.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Why’s the power out?”

    Me: “We’re not entirely sure yet, but our managers are contacting the power company. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Hop on my lap and take me to the men’s department.”

    (My eyes go wide and I can barely respond. After I politely decline and provide directions, my coworker just looks at me.)

    Coworker: “Did that just happen?”

    Me: “Yes… yes it did. And unfortunately, this isn’t the first time.”

    Profit And Hair Loss

    | MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Money

    (We’ve had trouble keeping business up, as our location is right next to a larger chain. On a particularly slow day, I’m confused when I see a young man come in with his entire head shaved nearly flat.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; you may not still have me on file. I was here about 14 months ago.”

    (I look him up.)

    Me: “Yeah, you’re still on file; how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t know what to do with my dad’s hairline. It was starting to look like a bad comb over, and you guys convinced me to shave everything.”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “Well, now that I have a razor and can do it myself, I realized that’s $14 a month you could be making. Can I just pay for a haircut, you don’t do anything, and you can just take the money?”

    (After blinking for a moment, I consult my manager, who clears the sale. The customer insists on full price.)

    Me: “Thanks, glad it worked out for you.”

    Customer: “Thanks a million. [Competitor] made it look like crap. I just felt bad, you know? You lose the rest of my sales because you actually know what the heck you’re doing.”

    (The customer even tipped well, which made our day. The other stylists and I were sharing the story all week.)

    Crappy Retail Jobs

    birdtown_comics_crappy_retail_jobs

    Stress About The Dress

    Food For Thought-ful

    | Durant, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in a gift shop inside a very successful casino. Our department is very small, and has suffered a few losses of faculty leaving us shorthanded for a small period. I am working a late shift unable to take any breaks but I don’t mind it. I’m used to being on my feet, but I am feeling very hungry. A customer comes in with bags of food wanting a few candy bars.)

    Me: “Oh my gosh, that smells so good.”

    Customer: “Yeah, double cheeseburger, onion rings and chili fries! I’m feeling hungry tonight!”

    Me: “Oh man, me too! I haven’t had a chance to eat today.”

    Customer: “You haven’t? Well, why not?!”

    Me: “The store is open 24 hours, and there’s no one else here to break me. It’s only for a little while though, and my relief comes in at midnight.”

    Customer: “But that’s so long!”

    Me: “It’s not that long, but that smell sure is making me hungry!”

    Customer: “You want me to order you some food?”

    Me: “Sir, you don’t have to do that!”

    Customer: “I want to!”

    (I continue ringing him up and hand him back his change.)

    Me: *chuckles* “Alright, thank you, sir. You have a good night.”

    Customer: “You the same!”

    (The customer leaves and the offer slips my mind as I continue working. Sure enough, about an hour later a drink-girl comes in with a tray full of all the food he described! I was astounded! Thank you, sir, for your generosity!)

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