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    Not Gonna Do That Any More…

    remember-customer-service-yeah-were-not-gonna-do-that-anymore

    November Themed Story Giveaway Reminder: Bizarre Behavior

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s November Themed Story Giveaway:
    Bizarre Behavior!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers behaving bizarrely.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, December 4!

    Food For Thought-ful

    Laptop Flop, Part 4

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Technology, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a computer repair center downtown. There is a crosswalk leading from our door across the street, with two parking spaces adjacent to it.)

    Me: “If there are any other problems, please feel free to call or drop by; we are more than happy to help.”

    (The customer takes his newly refurbished laptop and a brand new case from me.)

    Customer: “Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. Do you guys happen to work on smart phones?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. Just bring the phone in anytime, and we will take a look at it.”

    Customer: “It’s in my car, actually. I’ll be right back.”

    (The customer walks out the door to their car, and momentarily sets the laptop in its case down in the crosswalk while he looks for his keys. I have spent several long and frustrating hours working on the laptop, but because the customer is so kind and polite I don’t really mind. Unfortunately, a driver in a black pickup suddenly drives into the crosswalk and parks his truck on top of the laptop, damaging it.)

    Me: “Well, f***.”

    (The customer and the driver argue for a moment, before the driver comes in with the customer on his heels.)

    Customer: “Look at what he did!”

    (I quickly examine his laptop, and make an estimate on how much it will cost to repair it. Thankfully the damage isn’t too terrible.)

    Driver: “Hey! I was here first! Quit helping him and help me! I need to pick up my [smart phone]!”

    Customer #1: *to the driver* “And what exactly do you plan on doing about my laptop!”

    Driver: “Nothing! It’s your own d*** fault for leaving it in a parking spot.”

    Customer: “It cost me $275 to have it refurbished!”

    Driver: “Sorry for you! Maybe you wont be such a moron next time and put it in your car instead of leaving it in a parking space!”

    Me: *to the driver* “That will be a total of $291.57.”

    Driver: “What! Why the h*** does it cost that much? This is outrageous! You’re just trying to rip me off! Give me my phone back NOW!”

    Me: “It is $49.99 to replace the screen on your phone, and the repairs for this laptop will approximately cost $219.99. Including tax, your total comes to $291.57. Will that be cash or card?”

    Driver: “What!? I am not paying for this a**hole’s laptop. It’s his own f****** fault for leaving it in the parking space!”

    Me: “So, let me get this straight: you park in the clearly marked crosswalk, which is a no-parking zone. You whip into the space and nearly hit him because you weren’t paying attention to where you were going, and run over his laptop. The same laptop I have spent the last two days working on, which was sitting in, again, a clearly marked no-parking zone, and you’re not going to take responsibility for your actions?”

    Driver: “Exactly! I am not paying for this little s***’s stupidity.”

    Me: *to the customer* “It looks like your repairs will be on me.”

    Customer: “Thank you, but you don’t have to do that.”

    Driver: “Yeah, you have to pay for it because you’re a dumba** that left his computer in a parking space.” *turns to me* “Now give me my d*** phone.”

    Me: “Get out.”

    Driver: “No, I want my phone. Now hand it over.”

    Me: “No. Either you pay for all of it, or you get nothing.”

    Driver: “I’ll sue!”

    Me: *pointing* “There are a total of one, two, three security cameras that have caught everything on tape. Do you really think you could justify refusing to pay damages in front of a judge?”

    (The driver looks crestfallen, and finally pays for all of it. The customer gives me a $20 tip!)

    Related:
    Laptop Flop, Part 3
    Laptop Flop, Part 2
    Laptop Flop

    Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer

    | MO, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A popular bookstore chain is going out of business, and all of their stores are having ‘going-out-of-business’ sales. One such store is located in the same plaza as the home improvement store where I work.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Home Improvement Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you guys are located in the same plaza as [Bookstore] right?”

    Me: Yes, ma’am, we are located a few stores down from [Bookstore]. How can I assist you today?”

    Customer: “Are they open?”

    Me: “That particular branch of [Bookstore] hasn’t closed their doors yet, but given the fact that they’re going out of business, I’m not sure how much longer they’ll stay open.”

    Customer: “Well, I just tried calling them and no one is answering the phone.”

    Me: “I do know that they are still open. However it’s possible that whatever few employees are actually still working there are currently assisting other customers at the moment, so I would try giving them a call again a little bit later. In the meantime, is there anything we here at [Home Improvement Store] can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, could you go down to [Bookstore] and see if they have any copies of [various book titles] left?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but no one here is going to be able to leave the store in order to check that for you.”

    Customer: “Well, why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Because we’re all employees of [Home Improvement Store], not [Bookstore]. We’re all needed here.”

    Customer: “You retail people are supposed to go above and beyond for your customers!”

    Me: “We do a lot for our customers, ma’am. You, however, have expressed no interest in being our customer, but rather that of [Bookstore].”

    Customer: “Well, you’re no f****** help!”

    (I ended up transferring her call to my manager, who laughed at her request to send one of his employees to check the inventory of a different store.)

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