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    Requires Adult Supervision

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a daycare which caters to infants through to 12 years of age. A middle-aged man once approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi.”

    Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want to be cared for.”

    Me: “How old are you?”

    Customer: “46.”

    Me: “This is a daycare that only caters to young children.”

    Customer: “Oh… do you know where I can find a daycare that caters to adults?”

    Me: “Yes I do. The nearest hospital is right down the road.”

    Customer: “Thanks! I can’t wait to play with the toys!”

    Close at 8?

    scumbag-customer-meme

    H2-D’oh!

    | NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    Me: “[Lawn Care], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, you seeded my backyard for me this spring.”

    Me: “Yes, is everything okay?”

    Caller: “Well, it isn’t coming up very well. Some of it is, but not very much.”

    Me: “I see, and how often are you watering?”

    Caller: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “How often are you watering your lawn?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’m not. Should I be? Will that help?”

    Raisin Awareness Of Her Problem

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I give out free samples. I am serving a variety of grapes when I see a well-dressed woman in her 60s nearby with her daughter and grandchild. Listening to them talk, she seems very educated and well-spoken, and I see her approach my cart.)

    Me: “Hello, would you like to try some of our grapes today?”

    Customer: “Oh, no thank you, dear.”

    (I wish her a good day, and go back to preparing more samples. I realize a few seconds later that she is still just standing there, staring at me.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?”

    (Suddenly she gives me a death glare, jabs her finger toward my bowl of grapes and yells at me.)

    Customer: “DEY GIVE ME DA POOPIES!”

    (She then stomps off in a huff, leaving me to wonder what the heck just happened.)

    Giving Her Two Cents On Customer Service

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work as a cashier at a concession stand during high school football games. A young girl and her father walk up to my register.)

    Me: *to the father* “Just the cookies for you?”

    (The father looks at his daughter and nods his head at her.)

    Young Girl: “Yes, please, and I’m paying for them, too!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s $1.25, please.”

    (The young girl takes out her little change purse and counts out exactly $1.25, then pauses and pulls out two pennies.)

    Young Girl: “That’s $1.25, and then a tip for you because you were so nice!”

    (The young girl then turns to her father.)

    Young Girl: “Mommy says you should tip people when they’re nice to you, and are good at their job.”

    Me: “Thank you so much! Have a good night and enjoy your cookies!”

    Young Girl: “You’re welcome! Thank YOU for being so nice and smiley!”

    (The girl and her father came through my line again later on that evening and, once again, I earned another two-cent tip. We don’t normally take tips in that position, but it absolutely made my night!)


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