(I overhear an employee and an older customer, who is accompanied by her grandson. She is trying to return an expensive toy.)

Employee: “I can offer you a replacement or gift voucher, but without the receipt I can’t give you a cash refund.”

Customer: “No, you’ll give me a refund in cash.”

Employee: “I can’t do that without the receipt. If the toy is faulty I can replace it for you, or you can choose something else.”

Customer: “No, you’ll give me £120 in cash, out of the till. End of.”

Grandson: “Nana, you’re not allowed to say ‘end of’ to people.”

Customer: “Shush, I’ll say what I like. I’m allowed to say what I like. They just don’t want to give me £120 out of the f****** till.”

Grandson: “You’re not allowed to say the f-word, Nana!”

Customer: “Shut up.”

Employee: “I’m really sorry, but without your receipt I can’t do a cash refund. If you come back with your receipt we’ll be able to give you a refund.”

Customer: “F*** off!”

Grandson: *to employee* “I’m sorry my nana said that. She doesn’t know you’re not allowed to say the f-word.”

Themed Giveaway Roundup: Crimes & Punishments! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

1. Making A Spectacle Of Herself (2,059 thumbs up)
2. The Need To Be Shirty (904 thumbs up)
3. Building A Case Against Her (1,396 thumbs up)
4. Not Quite Top Of Her Game (1,014 thumbs up)
5. Not Sue-ted To Shoplifting (1,466 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

(A customer comes up with two packages of[energy drink].)

Customer: “Is this sugar free?”

Me: “Nope, afraid not. The sugar free usually has a lighter coloring on the box.”

(The customer repeats his question twice more, and I repeat my answer twice more. Finally, he decides to buy the two packages of normal [energy drink].)

Me: “All right, here’s your receipt!”

Customer: “Wait here. I’ll go get the sugar free…”

(Puzzled, I keep an eye on his groceries. When he returns, he takes the normal [energy drink] out of the bag, putting the new packages in the bag.)

Me: “Sir, didn’t you want to purchase those, too?”

Customer: “No! I told you, I was going to get sugar free! You rang me up for them!”

Me: “Sir, I told you three times that you were buying the regular kind. If you want those instead, you’re going to have to do an exchange.”

Customer: “No! I told you! I wanted sugar free! I have no time for this!”

(I call over my supervisor.)

Supervisor: “What’s up?”

(I explain the situation, calling it a slight problem in communication.)

Customer: “I told her; I’m very busy! I have no time for this!”

Supervisor: “Sir, in the time it took me to walk over here, you could’ve had this done and been on your way. I’ll take care of this on another register.”

(Without a word further, my supervisor takes the customer’s groceries and brings them to another register. A regular customer is behind the other customer, and has witnessed the whole thing.)

Regular Customer: “Geez! People sure are awful, huh?”

(We just opened for service. Our first customer of the day comes in.)

Customer: “Hi, do you guys take [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “No, sorry, sir.”

(The customer leaves, but he comes back about an hour later.)

Customer: “Hi! Do you guys take [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “Nope, sorry. But we take checks!”

Customer: “Nope, that doesn’t work. Thanks anyway.”

(An hour later, he comes back.)

Customer: “Still not taking [credit card name]?”

Coworker: “Nope, sorry!”

Customer: “Okay…”

(He leaves, again. An hour later..)

Customer: “NOW do you take [credit card name]?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, we do not.”

Customer: “Jeez, I’m never coming back here! You guys never take [credit card name]!”

(He storms out. At the end of the day…)

Customer: “So, how about now?”

(I am making a cleaning appointment for a patient who has an unusual name.)

Me: “I’m sorry, could you spell that for me?”

Patient: “It’s ‘D’ as in dog, ‘A’ as in August, ‘I’ as in igloo, ‘J’ as in junkie…”

(I have to have my coworker finish the call. I can’t breathe because I can’t stop laughing.)