November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
Cause For Pregnant Pause

This Movie Is The Bee’s Knees

| IL, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

(Our library has a new program where we showcase an artist’s work in our park next door. The first choice of art was a giant head made of discarded wood. After it was replaced, I have this conversation with a maintenance page.)

Page: “I like the new sculpture much better. The giant head was a bit weird.”

Me: “Yeah, it reminded me of The Wicker Man.”

Page: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a horror movie. The newer one has Nicolas Cage—”

(Suddenly, a library patron nearby begins shouting.)

Patron: “Not the bees! NOT THE BEES!”

Page: “I have got to see this movie.”

Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

| Glendale, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

(I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

Me: “That will be $19.86.”

Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

Me: “No, everything is there.”

(I then show him the screen so he can see.)

Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

(The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

(By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

(The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

The Difference Between Father And Son

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(A customer comes into my video game store with his teenage son in tow.)

Customer: “Hi, I bought this game yesterday. The guy who was here said that if I changed my mind, I could come back and exchange it for another game.”

(I notice the game has not only been opened but actually played.)

Me: “Okay, but you played this game.”

Customer: “Yeah, so?”

Me: “Well, usually exchanges are when the game hasn’t been played.”

Customer: “Well, the guy yesterday didn’t say anything about that! I want to talk to the manager. He said I could just exchange it if we didn’t like it! I just want the other game.”

Me: “Fine, just pick out the other game you wanted.”

(The customer goes to shelf, pulls out the other game, and brings it back. I notice the game he’s returning is $15, while the other game is $20. I ring up the difference.)

Me: “That will be $5.35, please.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “$5.35 is the difference plus tax between the two games. The game you bought yesterday is $15, while this game is $20. The difference is $5 plus tax.”

Customer: “No! The guy yesterday didn’t say anything about paying MORE for exchanging the game!”

(As the customer says this, his son looks down uncomfortably.)

Me: “You can’t exchange a $15 item for a $20 item without paying the difference.”

Customer: “I’m not paying extra! He said I could exchange this one for the other one! He didn’t say anything about paying more.”

Me: “Sir, you can pay the $5 plus tax difference and take the new game, or you may keep the game you have already bought and played. Or, I can call mall security, and have you removed.”

Customer: *hands over the cash and departs*

Customer’s Son: “Sorry!”