(While doing theater checks, I am informed that we have some skateboarders using our building’s parking lot and curbs as their own personal skate-park. I am sent to ask them to leave.)
Me: “Hey guys, you can’t skateboard here.”
Skateboarder #1: “Well, where can we go then?”
Me: “I know of a skate-park 20 minutes walk from here at [local park].”
Skateboarder #2: “Can we do a few more tricks here before we go?”
Me: “Sorry, no.”
(The three skateboarders turn to leave when the third, who has remained quiet the whole time, turns to me.)
Skateboarder #3: “I WORSHIP LUFFASIR SIX SIX SIX! What do you say to that!?”
Me: “Luffasir? It’s Lucifer, and I don’t need any more morons worshiping me. Now get the h*** out of here.”
(Skateboarder #3 turns red and quickly walks away followed by his buddies, who could not stop laughing.)
A server at a popular Italian eatery in Kansas was shocked to find that customers had left behind an anti-gay message on their bill in lieu of a tip.
October 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of October!
- Stress About The Dress (4,138 thumbs up)
- Finally Singing To The Same Tune (3,956 thumbs up)
- He’s The Best Actor Of The Bunch (3,251 thumbs up)
- Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition (2,794 thumbs up)
- The Grandmother Of All Threats (2,711 thumbs up)
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
Customer: “Excuse me, miss; could you help me?”
Me: “Sure, what do you need?”
Customer: “Could you change the price on this syrup? The unit price is $6.66, and I don’t want to buy the devil’s syrup.”
Me: “I don’t think we can change the price at the store level. And I’m not sure that’s a valid reason to change a price.”
Customer: “It doesn’t have to be much. Even just a penny would be fine. Could you ask your manager?”
Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t think we can change the price on a national brand item. We have other kinds of syrup that are just as good if the unit price of that brand bothers you.”
Customer: “No! I want that brand! I only eat that brand! And I want you to lower the price of that brand!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
Customer: “I’m never shopping at this devilish place again! Everyone who works here is going to go straight to Hell for associating with the devil!”
Me: “Have a nice day, ma’am.”
(I am finishing ringing up a sale for a customer. The final step on the signature pad is to confirm the transaction total.)
Me: “Okay, sir, just say ‘yes’ to confirm the total on the signature pad and I’ll get you your receipt.”
(The screen on the pad has two buttons: one reading ‘yes’ and one reading ‘no.’ The customer leans down with his mouth close to the pad and shouts…)