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    Running Onion Rings Around Common Sense

    , | Eagle River, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (At our store, ordering a combo will always be cheaper than ordering the three items separately. This applies for all sides, not just fries. Our menu and prices reflect this, and most people have no problem understanding.)

    Customer: “I’d like a number three combo, but with onion rings instead of fries.”

    Me: “No problem. That’ll be [price].”

    (The customer gets his food to go, pays, and then demands to talk to me when he sees his receipt.)

    Me: “What’s the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “I was supposed to pay an dollar for those rings!”

    Me: “No, sir. If you’ll notice our prices, you ordered the combo meal, which means the onion rings are cheaper than if you’d ordered them separately.”

    (I point out the two different prices, clearly labelled as ‘alone’ and ‘replacing fries’. However, he barely glances at where I’m pointing.)

    Customer: “Your menu is misleading!”

    Me: “I’m sorry if you thought that sir, but you are paying for a dollar cheaper than if you’d—”

    Customer: “I want to see the manager!”

    (The manager has been listening this whole time, and comes over. He tells the customer the exact same thing I’ve been telling him.)

    Customer: “Well… your prices are still misleading! I can’t believe I paid this!”

    Manager: “Sir, I’m sorry you feel that way, but as my employee has been telling you, our prices are clearly listed, and you actually saved money by getting the combo. I honestly don’t see the problem here.”

    Customer: “The problem is that your prices are misleading!”

    (He takes his food and storms out. The manager just shrugs and makes to return to his office, but an eat-in customer steps up to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, folks? I want to register a complaint against you!”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer #2: *smiles* “I want to complain because I’m actually saving money, and you’re giving me a good deal!”

    Music Is Ageless

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, School

    (I am a 21-year-old receptionist at a music school. One evening, there is a student waiting for his lesson in the reception area.)

    Me: “Hi there. How old are you?”

    Student: “8 years old. How old are you?”

    Me: *smiles* “How old do you think I am?”

    Student: “I dunno. You look really old.”

    *silence*

    Student: “Yeah, you look like you’re like, 17 or something.”

    Enough To Put You Off The Men-u

    | Houston, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Top

    (I work in a fine dining steak house. A group of middle-aged men have had a bad experience, so the manager asks me to deliver port and cigars on the house to them on the patio.)

    Me: “Hello, gentlemen; we’d like to offer these to you on the house. I understand your experience wasn’t what you expected of us and we sincerely apologize.” *begins handing out the items*

    Customer #1: “Well, look at you. How about you give us a little spin around?”

    Me: “Umm… no. I’m all right, thanks.”

    Customer #2: *laughs* “Oh, are you ‘one of those?’”

    Me: “Sir, if you’re suggesting I’m a lesbian, no. However, I’m not exactly sure what my personal preferences have to do with you.”

    Customer #1: “No need to get uppity, honey! So, what’s it gonna take for you to come hang out with us when you get off?”

    Me: “I beg your pardon? Are you asking how much I am? If so, you can’t afford it.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I’m pretty well off, darlin’.”

    Me: “There’s not enough money in the world, sir.”

    (The group laughs.)

    Customer #1: “Fine. Well, where’s a good gentleman’s club around here? Maybe you can meet us there later and see where this goes.”

    Me: “Sir, I don’t frequent those establishments personally. You may find one on your own time. Secondly, you have chosen to be misogynistic and sexually abusive to the only feminist in this entire building. Think about that. Third, I have never known any true gentlemen who visit strip clubs regularly, which you seem to do. Have a good evening.”

    (My manager’s response? ‘They’re only playing around!’ Needless to say, I quit shortly after that!)

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