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    Pray She Doesn’t Order The Number Two

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A woman and her two kids come in looking for the washrooms. An employee tells her that they are outside and around the corner, near the drive-through. She leaves to go find them.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Oh my God! Come see this!”

    Me: “Yeah?”

    (I walk over to the drive-through window and poke my head out. There, in the middle of the drive-through, is the woman holding one of her kids up horizontally as the child urinates on the drive-through in front of me while holding up several vehicles. She looks up and sees me, looks me straight in the eye the entire time, and finishes without a word.)

    Me: *to my coworkers* “I’m going for break.”

    His Translation Is A Sham(rock)

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

    (I work as a cashier. Two customers are in my line: an older man with a grimace and a younger man with a thick Irish accent. The Irishman, Customer #1, has jostled the older man, Customer #2.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, watch it!”

    Customer #2:You watch it, boy! Why’d you get in my way?”

    Customer #1: “Get in your way? Oh, come on!”

    Customer #2: *looks at me* “You saw that, right? He bumped his cart right into me!”

    Customer #1: “Look, let’s not get her involved. You can just go in front of me. ‘Pogue mahone’ (póg mo thóin), alright?

    Customer #2: “What was that?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, ‘Pogue mahone’? It’s an Irish phrase. We say it when we want to end an argument. Here you go, you can go first.”

    Customer #2: “Darn right I will. Youth these days need to learn to be a little more respectful.”

    (I check him out and he leaves. Customer #1 steps up, and I begin checking his things out.)

    Customer #1: “I sure hope he doesn’t look up what that really means when he gets home.”

    Me: “Why? What does it mean?”

    Customer #1: “It’s Irish for ‘Kiss my a**’.”

    How Dare You!

    By the talented, Eric!

    Passive Aggressive Note #219

    Full Metal Jacket Potatoes

    , | Norway | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Military

    (On my way home from work, a buddy and I are stopping at a fast food joint just outside the military camp/training facility in my town. There is a long line of soldiers, privates, I assume, but also a young civilian lady almost at the front. As we have finally gotten to the front and are waiting for our food, a sergeant comes through the camp gates and walks directly to the front of the line.)

    My Friend: “Excuse me, but I think this young man was first.”

    (He points to the private who was about to place his order when the sergeant, rather rudely, walked in front of him.)

    Sergeant: “No, I think that will be fine. Don’t you think so, [private’s name]?”

    Private: “Yes, of course, sir.”

    My Friend: “I don’t. Why do you think you can just go ahead of everyone else?”

    Sergeant: “Because I am their superior officer! Now quit wasting my time.”

    Me: “Ahem. Are you her superior officer too?”

    (I point at the young girl standing a couple places behind him in line.)

    Sergeant: “Well, no…”

    My Friend: “Then get to the back of the line then! Have some common courtesy!”

    (The sergeant walked sheepishly to the back of the line. We went over to our car and made sure to stay and watch until everyone had gotten their food, so he wouldn’t just barge ahead again.)

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