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    Forever Unatoned

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Being close to a bad part of town, we’d often get unruly kids with nothing better to do than to hang out in our store. It is usually the same group of kids, and they always happen to break something during every visit. After breaking a football game display (by cleverly playing football with it), we issue a permanent ban. The following takes place within a year. The next day…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Why won’t you let us in?”

    Manager: “You keep breaking our stuff.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “F*** you! I’ll break what I want!”

    Manager: “And that’s why we banned you. Leave. Now.”

    (A week later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Let us in! We’ll be good!”

    Manager: “Not happening.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Fine, this place sucks! We’ll go to the other store, then you’ll be happy!”

    Manager: “Will you buy something from there?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “No.”

    Manager: “Then I don’t care where you go.”

    (A month later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey man, it’s been a month. We’ve learned our lesson. Let us in or we’ll tell our parents!”

    Manager: “We have enough video surveillance saved of you guys to press charges. You really want to let your parents know about this?”

    (They leave silently. A few months later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey, I’m not sure if you heard, but the manager unbanned us!”

    Me: *calling their bluff* “He’s in the back, let me check.”

    (He actually had the day off. The gang runs away. Finally, a year goes by, and we haven’t seen or heard from the kids at all. When they show up, my manager is about to kick them out, when I interject.)

    Me: “Listen, I think these kids got the message that we’re serious. They haven’t bothered asking to be let in for a whole year, and here they are, politely asking to be let back in. Let’s give them a second chance!”

    Manager: “Fine, but they’re your responsibility.”

    Me: *to the kids* “Alright guys, it’s been a whole year, and I’d like to think you learned your lesson. I convinced the manager to let you in, but do anything bad again, and it’s back to being banned. Deal?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Deal.” *he then drops his pants and flashes a group of adults*

    Me: “BANNED FOREVER, AGAIN!”

    His Opinion Carries No Weights

    | KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My friend and I are both overweight, so we decide to start going to the gym to lose weight and get in shape for the first time in our lives. She is a bit self-conscious and is hesitant to go at first because she is afraid others will stare. After a couple of weeks, she stops worrying because most people at our gym go about their own business. We’d never had a problem until one day, when she is jogging on the treadmill.)

    Rude Member: “Hey, fat b****! Why don’t you get off the treadmill before you break it?”

    My Friend: *stops jogging* “What?”

    Rude Member: “Get the f*** off the treadmill! Your fat a** is going to break it! Let someone who weighs less than Shamu use it! Just go away and take up space at [fast food restaurant], where you belong.”

    (My friend, looking like she’s about to cry, steps off the machine.)

    Rude Member: “You fatties are a waste of space! You just eat everything in sight and lounge about, getting fatter, and then you complain about your weight. Why don’t you ever do something about it?”

    My Friend: “Excuse me?! You just told me to get my fat a** off of a treadmill, where I was exercising, and go to [fast food restaurant]. Then you have the audacity to tell me that I only sit around eating and not doing anything to lose weight? Get the h*** out of my face, you f***ing jerk!” *gets back on her treadmill and resumes jogging*

    Rude Member: “I hope they charge you double when you break the machines, you cow!” *stomps away*

    (Later, I saw the manager tearing up the rude member’s gym membership right in front of him. He had been informed of the whole incident by several other members!)

    Making A Loud A-pee-l

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (We are a tiny restaurant that just so happens to be at the end of a large parade route. So, we often get lot of requests for a public restroom, which we do not have. One day, a customer comes running in holding his young daughter.)

    Customer: “Quick! Which way to your restroom?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our restroom is for customers only.”

    Customer: “You son of a b****! My daughter needs to go now!”

    (At this point, his daughter becomes scared and starts peeing herself.)

    Customer: *to me* “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!”

    (The customer runs out, leaving a wet trail behind for me to mop up.)

    He Can Light Up The Sky(rim)

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Geeks Rule

    (I work in a small comic shop. Our bathroom lights don’t work quite right. Once you flip on the switch, they do light up, about five seconds later.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, the lights in your bathroom don’t work. I think it’s a dead bulb.”

    Me: “Oh, no, they work. You just need to—”

    Customer: “No, they don’t! Come with me, let me show you!”

    (The customer leads me to the bathrooms, I follow. He flips the switch on and off a few times, leaving it in the off position.)

    Customer: “See? Can you give maintenance a call or something?”

    Me: “Hold on, I can fix this…”

    (As I take a step into the bathroom, I flick the switch on behind me, then count out the time it takes for the lights to power up. Just as the lights power on, I shout…)

    Me: “STRUN BAH QO!”

    (For those that don’t know, that’s ‘Storm Call’ in Skyrim.)

    Customer: “T-The Dragonborn…”

    Employee Truth Vs. Reality

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