July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

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Carting Her Off To Justice

| Woodinville, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(I am shopping at a popular grocery and am in the long line to check out. I notice a cart nearby with a kid. It starts rolling into a shelf. I grab it before any damage is done.)

Me: “Hey, whose cart is this with the kid?”

(I see a woman at the meat department with a phone, talking away. I believe she has a purse that matches the coat on the cart.)

Me: “Ma’am your kid almost rolled into—”

(She waves me off and continues talking on the phone. I sigh, reposition the cart, then get back into the line.)

Customer In Front: “Stupid woman, leaving her kid to roll off to God knows where.”

Me: “I hope the phone call is worth the—”

(I notice the cart rolling again, so I stop it. This time, the woman notices.)

Woman: “What are you doing to my kid you… you… kidnapper!?”

Me: “I was stopping the cart.”

Woman: *snatches the cart from me* “Stay away from my baby.”

Customer In Front: *laughs* “Well, least she paying attention now.”

(The woman continues glaring at me. A few minutes pass, and the customer in front is done being checked out. However, I’m surprised when the woman and two cops approach me.)

Woman: *points to me* “There he is, the kidnapper!”

Officer #1: *to me* “Alright bub, let’s go.”

Officer #2: *getting cuffs out* “I got him.”

Customer In Front: “Woah, officers! Stop! You haven’t even heard his story!”

Woman: “He tried to kidnap my baby! That’s the story!”

(The two officers talk to people in the line about what happened, and are eventually convinced about my side of the story.)

Officer #1: “Ma’am, please put your hands on the counter.”

Woman: “What! What for? I’m not a kidnapper! I refuse!”

Officer #2: “Please work with us, not against us.”

Woman: “Arrest that man for kidnapping!”

Officer #2: “Ma’am, you are under arrest for abandoning a minor, and for endangering a minor. We will contact your husband or a relative at the station to get your child.”

Woman: “I’m innocent! He was kidnapping!” *she screams all the way out*

Needs To Adopt A Nicer Outlook

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Religion, Top

(I am 21, but I look about 16. I am also two weeks away from giving birth to a baby girl, but with my age and the fact that I couldn’t get my act together at the time, I decide to give her up for adoption. I have the family picked, but I decide to make a trip away before I have her. I am sitting down at the library, reading a book.)

Older Woman: “Good lord, teenagers these days! Thinking they can actually give a baby everything they need. These poor children are going to suffer!”

(I figure she is talking about me since I am the only pregnant woman around. I stay quiet, but I am getting uncomfortable with what she is saying:)

Older Woman: “Excuse me miss?” *she taps me on the shoulder*

Me: “How can I help you?”

Older Woman: “How do you think you can provide for that baby? You only are going to make that child suffer. You should have accepted Christ into your heart.”

Me: “Listen, ma’am, you have no right to judge me. First, I’m 21, out of high school, and I have my own apartment. Second, you don’t know my story, or you would realize that even though I love my daughter very much, I know I can’t provide for her, so I’ve chosen to give her a better life and will be placing her for adoption with an amazing family. Third, do you not see the cross around my neck? I am very Christian, and I know that god gave me my daughter for a reason, and he gave me her parents for another reason. Now, I do know some young parents, and they are better mothers than I could ever be. Now, if you could please let me get back to my book, I want to have a little bit of a calm time before I go back home, and make the preparations for my daughters’ birth.”

(The older woman is very shocked and leaves. Another man who has heard what I have said looks at me, leaves for about five minutes, then comes back with a big chocolate chip muffin and a big apple juice, which he sets in front of me.)

Man: “I saw you come in earlier with the apple juice, and after the crap that woman said, figured you and the baby could use a treat. But your comment about the young mothers that are better mothers than you? You are doing the best thing for your daughter, and you are the best mother I know.”

(He walked away before I could say anything, but his comments made me cry in the good way. Two weeks later, my daughter was born, and she has the best parents around, and she will have so much support. To that man, thank you for what you said and did.)

At Lagerheads, Part 2

| Reading, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I am working late at a local pizzeria. I’m already pretty aggravated due to having to cover someone else’s shift who called off that night, but I have managed to keep my cool. A customer calls in on the phone to place an order for delivery. He sounds fairly plastered already but is polite enough so I begin to take his order.)

Me: “What can I get for you tonight, sir?”

Customer: “I’d like two plain pizzas, a cheese steak stromboli, an order of hot wings, and a six pack of Heineken.”

Me: “Sir, we can’t deliver beer.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Well, sir, we just don’t. It’s against company policy. Now, can I get your name and address so we can send your food out to you?”

Customer: “Sure, but I’d like to change the order.”

Me: “Okay, no problem, what’s it going to be?”

Customer: “Well I said two plain pizzas, but now I’d like you to reach down your pants and tear out a large handful of pubic hair and toss it on top of my pizzas.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir; that’s complimentary and is included in each and every one of our meals free of charge.”

Customer: “F*** you. I’ll be in to pick it up shortly.”

(I figured he was way too drunk to drive over, so I didn’t make his order. I was right.)

Related:
At Lagerheads

Has No Idea What’s In Store For Them

| Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling [store name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Is this a store?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “A store where you can buy things?”

Me: “Um… yes?”

Customer: “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes!” *hangs up*

A Not-So-Pretty Swell Day

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

(During the lunch rush I am making fries. Since I am pregnant and the salt makes my hands swell, I take off my wedding ring.)

Me: “Here are your fries, sir! Hot out of the fryer.”

Customer: “Thanks girl, you’re pretty sweet. I’d ask you out if you weren’t so fat.”

Me: “Thank you for the compliment, but I am not fat. I’m pregnant.”

Customer: “What?! You aren’t pregnant. You’re just being prude.”

Me: “I highly doubt my husband would agree with you.”

(I take the ring out of my pocket briefly to show him.)

Customer: “If you’re married, why don’t you wear your ring? You looking around for a new man? Because I might be available after you lose weight.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m currently not wearing my ring because the salt makes my hands swell up and it cuts off circulation.”

Customer: “Don’t be stupid! Salt only makes girls swollen when they’re pregnant!”

(I nod at him slowly and he frowns, realizing what just happened.)

Customer: “Well… you’re not that pretty anyway!”

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