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    The Girl Who Watched The Boy Who Lived

    | WA, USA | Awesome Workers

    (The last Harry Potter movie has just come out. My local theater is doing a midnight double feature of the two parts to the last movie. I am the customer in this scenario.)

    Me: “Hi, I’d like to buy a ticket to the Harry Potter Double Feature, please!”

    Employee #1: *checks computer* “I’m sorry, but we’re all out.”

    Me: “Really? Oh, no! There’s nothing you can do?”

    Employee #1: “No. I’m sorry.”

    (At this point, I’m doing my best not to cry. This was very important to me, because it was for my best friend’s birthday.)

    Me: “All right. Could I use your phone? I need to tell my dad and don’t have a cellphone.”

    Employee #1: “Sure.”

    (I use the phone to tell my dad that I couldn’t get the tickets. While doing so, I start crying. During this time, the first worker is switching out with a second worker, who takes immediate notice of my tears.)

    Employee #2: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “I was trying to buy a ticket to the Harry Potter Double Feature, but they’re all gone. It’s my best friend’s sixteenth birthday and we were going to go together, and I’m so sorry that I’m crying. I really shouldn’t get this emotional. I’m being ridiculous.”

    Employee #1: “No, that’s okay. Here, let me help you. If you buy a ticket to the midnight showing, I’ll let you in to the Double Feature.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Employee #1: “Yes, really. I’ll be working that night, and it’ll be no problem.”

    Me: “Thank you so much!”

    (My best friend and I went to the Double Feature. I saw the employee again, and she let me in. I will never forget what she did for me!)

    Makes You Scarlett With Anger

    | PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

    Customer #1: “My god, you look just like Scarlett O’Hara! Have you ever seen Gone With The Wind?”

    Me: *laughing* “Thanks! I actually haven’t seen it, but I want to eventually!”

    Customer #1: “Those blue eyes, and dark hair! You’re a dead ringer, Scarlett!”

    (Customer #1, who is a very petite, elderly woman, continues to refer to me as ‘Scarlett’ for all of her questions, calling me over to wherever she is in the store to evaluate different gift baskets, etc. She’s pretty awesome, and I am happy to oblige. Then, Customer #2 enters the store. He is a tall, broad shouldered, grumpy middle-aged man. I leave Customer #1 to go back behind the register.)

    Customer#2: “Where the **** are the cheese pretzels?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we are out of those until next year. With expansion—”

    Customer#2: “That’s bulls***! I have been coming here every other week for two months, and everyone keeps telling me different times!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I was ju-”

    Customer#2: “I think all of you are full of s***!”

    (Suddenly, Customer #1 comes flying around the corner and up to my register.)

    Customer #1: *to Customer #2* “Do you even know who you are talking to?! Don’t you dare talk to her like that! You should be ashamed of yourself, you great big lout!”

    (Customer #2 clearly was not expecting Customer #1 to yell at him, and sheepishly retreats out of the store but still grumbling.)

    Me: “Wow, I’m so sorry about this whole thing, ma’am. I have got to ask, weren’t you scared? That guy was huge!”

    Customer #1: “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a d*&%!”

    (I cracked up laughing and gave her my discount for getting rid of my troublesome customer!)

    Playing Games With Your Feelings

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I have only been working at the store for a few weeks. I also happen to be a slightly anxious person. Phone calls tend to stress me out, as I can’t really interpret tones of voice. A customer calls, and I answer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Yeah, hi, are you releasing [popular upcoming game] early?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, we’re having a midnight release of that game, yes.”

    Caller: “No, no. I mean, you know how you guys get new games before the release date? Can you give it to me before the release date if I give you extra money?”

    Me: “Uh, no, sir, I can’t do something like that. That would be illegal.”

    Caller: “I don’t like your tone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Caller: “There’s no reason for you to talk to me like a dumb f***.”

    Me: “I’m, I’m really sorry if I’ve offended yo—”

    Caller: “Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, yes, sir. Let me get my coworker.”

    (I pass the phone to my coworker, who, though she is the senior employee, is younger than me, and generally very sweet and charming. I have never really seen her angry. She speaks to the customer for a few minutes, and then she puts the phone down.)

    Me: “Is everything okay?”

    Coworker: “What a jerk! He demanded to speak to the manager, and when I told him that the manager wasn’t in today, he said to tell you that you were a dumb c*** and a stupid b****!”

    Me: “Oh. Am I going to be in trouble?”

    Coworker: *smiles brightly* “Oh, honey, no! You did great! My only regret is that he hung up before I could tell him to f*** off!”

    They Don’t Know That Band Aid Feeds The World

    , | OK, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer pulls up into the drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you have a grilled chicken salad?”

    (I list off all our chicken salads.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll take the BLT salad. Does that come with lettuce?”

    Me: “Yes. It’s a salad with lettuce.”

    Customer: “Okay. One BLT grilled salad with lettuce.”

    (I tell her the total, and she pulls up to the window. I’d cut myself earlier in the day on my finger, so I have to wear a band-aid. I’m only working with money, and try to keep it out of sight of customers as much as possible.)

    Me: “Your total is $5.85.”

    (The customer glances at my finger when I push the button to see her total. She looks like I’d just killed someone right in front of her.)

    Customer: “Oh. My gosh. I’m sorry. That’s so gross!”

    (She drops her change from spazzing out.)

    Customer:“J-just take the twenty and forget the change!”

    Me: “You sure? I can wait.”

    Customer: “Y-yes!” *shoos me away in disgust*

    (I give her the change, and close the window. I tell my coworkers it would be best if someone else handed out her food. My coworker hands the salad out to the spazzing customer.)

    Coworker: “Did you see her? ”

    Me: “No?”

    Coworker: “She was staring at you and making praying gestures and talking to herself!”

    Trying To Can The Idea

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (At our store, we have to see an ID card before we accept a check. Most of the cashiers are new, however, and lax about asking for ID.)

    Me: “Alright, before I process you check, may I please see your ID?”

    Older Customer: “Oh? When did this start?”

    Me: “It’s a part of our store rules, ma’am. We’re always supposed to ask this.”

    Older Customer: “Well, no one has ever asked me before!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We’re always supposed to ask for ID.”

    Older Customer: “Still, no one has asked before!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I have to follow the rules.”

    Older Customer: “Well, this is awful! You don’t know how hard this is on old people!”

    (She pulls out her wallet, opens it, and moves one thin piece of plastic to get to her ID. However, without warning, she grabs a can from the next customer’s order and chucks at my head.)

    Me: *dodges* “Ma’am, what are you doing?!”

    Older Customer: “You see what you did there? I could never do that today. What you did there is like what I go through getting to my ID!”


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