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    Don’t Have A Cow, Ma’am

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink

    (It’s my first day working in this cafe. It’s late in the afternoon and we are getting ready to close. I am in the back kitchen, cleaning, when I overhear this conversation between the waitress and a customer who has just walked in and is looking at the food we have left on display.)

    Waitress: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Don’t you have anything else vegetarian? All I can see are these quiches, and they look disgusting! Like they’ve been here for hours!”

    Waitress: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Normally we do have a few more vegetarian options; pasties and such, but as you can see, it’s almost the end of the day, so we’ve sold out of most things. But I can assure you that the quiches are baked fresh here and these ones are still fine to eat.”

    Customer: “Well, they look terrible. I’ll just have one of those pies.”

    Waitress: “Are you sure, ma’am? These are meat pies; they’re not vegetarian.”

    Customer: “Just give me a d*** pie!”

    (The waitress reluctantly bags up the pie and the customer pays for it and leaves in a huff. Sure enough, less than five minutes later, the customer returns.)

    Customer: “How dare you sell this to me! It’s not vegetarian! It’s got f***ing meat in it! What the f*** is wrong with you?!”

    Me: *to my fellow kitchen employees* “I’m going to love working here, aren’t I?”

    A Negative Shopping Experience

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Language & Words, Top

    (I am ringing up a customer.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, sir. How are you?”

    Customer: *remains silent as I scan his items*

    Me: “Are you a member of the store rewards program?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Have you heard about the program?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you care about the program?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (The ustomer swipes his debit card and puts in his pin.)

    Customer: “I can say more than ‘no’, you know. ”

    Me: “I don’t doubt it, sir. Would you like cash back?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (Thankfully, he had a sense of humor; after his last reply, we both looked at each other and laughed.)

    Very Front Loaded

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Top

    (I stop in to my local superstore to pick up some dog treats. I decide to grab a soda for myself from the cooler. Just before I place my items on the counter, a man comes up to the line and starts talking to me.)

    Customer: “Hey! Can I go in front of you?”

    (I look at his full cart, and then at the two items in my hand.)

    Customer: “I mean, since I have so much less stuff than you, it’ll just be much faster.”

    (Again, I look at his full cart and at the TWO items in my hands. I pause for 30 seconds not fully understanding what’s going on before I finally respond. He seems kind of agitated and since I’m not in a hurry, and don’t want to cause an incident, I let him go in front of me.)

    Me: “Sure, go ahead…”

    (A few minutes later he’s finally done and I place my items on the counter. My total comes up to less than five bucks and I go to pay when I’m stopped by a woman who was in line behind both me and the man from earlier.)

    Customer #2: “Please, let me pay for these.”

    (I’m a bit shocked, and immediately protest, but the cashier cuts me off.)

    Cashier: “Kid, I’m not letting you pay. That idiot insisted on skipping you, even though you CLEARLY have less items than he did, and you didn’t make any fuss about it. You deserve much more than just this. It’s people like you that make this soul sucking worthless job bearable.”

    Not Just Coffee That Is Perky

    | London, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a barista while my coworker is on the till. It is the lunch rush and we have a queue of about 15 people. We have been working nonstop for several hours and so are running out of supplies and mugs. I am currently finishing an order for a lady—Customer #1—and preparing to make drinks for the next elderly gentleman—Customer #2.)

    Customer #2: *loudly* “I can’t believe how slow this service is! It’s absolutely ridiculous! I’ve only come in here for a cup of coffee!”

    (He continues to moan in this manner. I set up the saucers and cutlery for Customer #1.)

    Customer #1: *HUGE smile on her face* “Look how hard these girls are working! They are working nonstop! How long are you here until young lady?”

    Me: “6 pm.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, dear! That’s quite late!”

    Me: “It’s alright, really. Today hasn’t been so hectic.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you girls really do work hard. It’s to be commended!”

    Me: “Thank you very much! Enjoy your drinks and have a nice day!”

    (I move on to Customer #2, who by this point has shut up and is looking at the floor. I make his drinks and finish his order and he doesn’t say a word. That lady really perked me up for the rest of my day and it’s nice to see my work is appreciated by some! Thank you!)

    What A Tool, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work for a large department store known for selling tools and hardware under their own brand. They have a lifetime guarantee on tools of this brand, and will exchange any broken or defective tool at any time. I am working in the tools department. A customer comes into the store with a whole lot of tools.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to exchange all of my tools for new ones.”

    Me:All of your tools? Are they broken?”

    Customer: “No, they’re not broken. They’re used. I want new nice looking tools.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we cannot exchange all of your tools just because they’re used. We can only exchange them if they are broken or defective.”

    Customer: “But they have a lifetime guarantee! I can exchange them any time I want! And now they’re used, and I just got a new job working for a car dealership, and I want new tools that look nice! You have to exchange these!”

    Me: “Sir, are you going to be actually working on cars, or just hanging your tools on your wall?”

    Customer: “Get me your manager now!”

    (I call my manager, and overhear part of his conversation with the customer.)

    Customer: “No, they’re just used. I want new tools that look nice for my new job at a car dealership.”

    Manager: “So, are you actually going to work on cars with your tools, or just hang them on the wall?”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Related:
    What A Tool

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