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In Need Of A Reality Check

| Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(I work retail as a cashier. I’m serving a couple that looks to be between 25 and 30, while behind them is a smiling old man with a cane no younger than 80. All of them are followed by a line that just keeps getting longer. The couple has handed me a check to pay for their goods, and this is a lengthy process. I’m half-way through the transaction when they get impatient.)

Female customer: “Look, I don’t have all day.”

Me: “Sorry ma’am, but this is the process I have to take for all checks. Unfortunately, it takes a while.”

Male customer: *tapping his fingers on the desk* “Can you just hurry up? Geez! Keeping these people waiting!”

(By this point my line is 10 people deep, and I’m beginning to get a bit stressed. The couple is still trying to hurry me along, but I’m going as fast as I can. Finally, I finish and hand them their receipt.)

Male customer: “Finally! That only took all day! Maybe if you weren’t so slow we’d have been out of here by now!”

(Suddenly, the elderly man behind them pipes up.)

Elderly customer: “I didn’t know they still let you pay by check!”

Me: “They do, but unfortunately it’s a lengthy process.”

(The elderly customer continues to speak loudly, within earshot of the couple I just served.)*

Elderly customer: “Hmph! Sounds to me some people just need to get with the 21st Century!”

Young couple: *glares at elderly customer*

Elderly customer: *waves and smiles*

99 Orders


Via.

Another Day, Another Disaster

A Knowing Personality

| Miami, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Top

(I’m showing a couple our knife sets demonstrating the difference between each brand.)

Me: “So, if you happen to be a rocker, that is someone who keeps a part of the blade in contact with the cutting board at all times, then you’ll want this type. If, however, you’re a chopper, who lifts the blade completely off the board, then you might find these a better fit since they have a shallower curve on the blade.”

Lady: “Right, well actually he-” *points to her companion* “-is the one who’s going to be using them, so why don’t I leave you two to it, and look for the rest of the stuff on my list?”

Man: “Sounds good.” *turns to me* “Hey, you got anything heavier? I like putting power into my chopping.”

(I show him several additional knives, speaking about the differences in handle shapes and steel grade when he interrupts me.)

Man: “Oh, and you do know that if these knives turn out to be cheap sh**, I’m going to have to come back here and have some very stern words with you.”

Me: *taken aback* “Sir, these are made to the highest specifications of German craftsmanship. Says so right there on the blade.” *I gesture to the ‘Made In Germany’ stamp* “The ones in the cabinet next to me come from Japan, and are made using the same ore and techniques as samurai swords. If you’re going to honestly come back and tell me steel of this caliber is, to use your own words, cheap s***, then I have only three words to say to you: bring it on!”

(The man stares at me, looking not so much offended as bemused. He then proceeds to tip his hat to me in respect.)

Man: “I see you clearly do know your stuff. Please forgive me for doubting you.” *looks around for his girlfriend* “Are you as knowledgeable about the other products in this store?”

Me: “Every one of them.”

(He spies his girlfriend who’s speaking to another associate.)

Man: “Honey come back here, we’re going with this guy! He’s got the know, and the personality!”

(They proceed to do their entire order with me, and the man even insists on shaking my hand afterward saying he’s glad to have found someone with confidence in what they sell. Definitely among my best customers ever!)

An Extra Shot Of Irony

| England, UK | Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(I am at a New Year’s Eve party.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Yes, I need to replace someone’s drink. I accidentally spilt it.”

(As it is only a small drink, I gave it to him without charge.)

Customer #2: *to me* “How much of an idiot do you have to be to spill someone’s drink?!”

(Customer#2 orders various drinks, but there are 2 expensive bottles of wine and mixer drinks with at least 3 shots of various spirits in.)

Me: “All together that will be £50.”

Customer #2: “No problem, but seriously can you imagine if I was as stupid as him and spilled these!”

(Customer #2 turns with tray of drinks to return to his friends. As he does, he drops the entire tray, smashing the wine bottles and the other drinks all over the floor.)

Customer #2: “I guess I deserved that. Don’t suppose I could have free replacements?”

(The guy bought another round, as well as two more drinks, one for me and one for the guy he had been joking about.)

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